We all know that when we fall in love and start a relationship, everything seems to be absolutely ideal at the beginning. The first month we think our "bae" is completely flawless. But if you’ve heard Hannah Montana sing you’ll remember the lyrics: “Nobody's perfect, I gotta work it! Again and again till I get it right”. And she was right.
As time passes, you start to notice that your significant other is, actually, a person like everyone else, so they have defects. This is a good thing! If you decide to stay with someone after you realize they are not perfect, it means that what you feel is real.
But the specialists say that it’s after a period of 5 years when you can figure out if you truly love somebody. You feel you two are one person. In our time, a relationship of five years is not easy to achieve. When we do, we should be proud, because it means we have find a person who is worth it and it also means that we don’t give up easily. There’re always going to be problems in a relationship. Let’s face the fact that the “everything is perfect” phase is temporary.
Some days will be much easier than others. If your partner is going through a rough time they’ll probably won’t be smiling all the time and telling you how pretty you are. You have to learn to accept that some days they can be feeling down and the least thing that will help them is you complaining about why they don’t want to go out for dinner. But, this is very important: no matter how bad they’re feeling, they can’t disrespect you or treat you hostilely. If your partner is having a stressful day, make them a cup of tea, hug them and go to bed with them. But never, ever, let them take their anger on you, because that is a vicious circle, and also that would show you that they’re not exactly good people.
There’re some things you should never say, even if your partner and you have been many years together. For example:
1-Don’t ever insult their family. Not even if you really dislike them. Never say anything about this during an argument.
2- Don’t ever say something horrible about their bodies. This seems senseless because if you are dating someone it means you like them entirely, including their body, but believe me, there’re some people who do it.
3-Don’t tell them not to go out with their friend. Friendship is very important in the life of people. If your girlfriend/boyfriend stops seeing their friends because of you, you’ll end up feeling strongly selfish, and if you don’t, don’t worry… your partner will remind you!
4- Don’t use nasty words you will later regret. When we are angry, we speak without thinking about the consequences. Just don’t say things you know will hurt your partner. Use common sense.
There’re always things you both can do to stoke the flames of your love! Try going out for dinner at a very romantic restaurant (even if you live together), go skating or picnic. My mantra is: Act like you’ve just met and also like it’s your last week together.